So it's day #14 on the Whole30, and I'm okay. I'm regular. My energy is even. I'm never stuffed feeling after I eat, and today I honestly never even got hungry.
None of this sounds like a bad thing, but I'm a little bit depressed by it. I mean, I believe I had gotten so used to going from the feeling of starvation to being so full I want to vomit that I...well...miss it! And I miss the sugar highs and crashes. And I miss the pain I get from eating a giant bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce.
Do I sound like a masochist?
I'm not quite sure where I'm at with this whole thing. I mean I feel fine, though the weather here isn't helping (in short, it sucks). Maybe I'm hormonal. Maybe this is the next stage of breaking my food addiction. That sounds right. I've gone from physically missing the highs, to mentally missing the highs.
The fact is I have expended myself quite a bit emotionally over the past week or so and I've had nothing to numb the exhaustion that it has brought about. This is a good thing, I need to face my stress and deal with it. Essentially, food (especially grains and sugar) has been a security blanket for me for a long time and its been ripped away by my own hand. I'm doing myself a favor in the long run, but that doesn't make it feel any better right now.
I guess I'm just having a James 1 moment. I'm in a funk, but I'm allowing myself to be taught in and by it. That's the only way I'll mature and grow. And that's ultimately what I want, to be better.