Wednesday, January 16, 2013

An Update and A Confession

So it's day #14 on the Whole30, and I'm okay. I'm regular. My energy is even. I'm never stuffed feeling after I eat, and today I honestly never even got hungry.

None of this sounds like a bad thing, but I'm a little bit depressed by it. I mean, I believe I had gotten so used to going from the feeling of starvation to being so full I want to vomit that I...well...miss it! And I miss the sugar highs and crashes. And I miss the pain I get from eating a giant bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce.

Do I sound like a masochist?

I'm not quite sure where I'm at with this whole thing. I mean I feel fine, though the weather here isn't helping (in short, it sucks). Maybe I'm hormonal. Maybe this is the next stage of breaking my food addiction. That sounds right. I've gone from physically missing the highs, to mentally missing the highs.

The fact is I have expended myself quite a bit emotionally over the past week or so and I've had nothing to numb the exhaustion that it has brought about. This is a good thing, I need to face my stress and deal with it. Essentially, food (especially grains and sugar) has been a security blanket for me for a long time and its been ripped away by my own hand. I'm doing myself a favor in the long run, but that doesn't make it feel any better right now.

I guess I'm just having a James 1 moment. I'm in a funk, but I'm allowing myself to be taught in and by it. That's the only way I'll mature and grow. And that's ultimately what I want, to be better.


  1. You know, I think that detox from the chemicals in processed food really contribute to this. I know that you're get through this!! I seriously am IMPRESSED that you did this cold turkey. When I gave up grains I weaned myself off of them. I've tried dairy-free a couple of times and I just can't give it up.

    1. I think you're right! Yesterday I started having headaches again after not having them for like 5 days, but I got a lot of rest and I think I'm finally over the hump!

      You're encouragement has really helped me go as far as I have! It's cool to have met someone who's paleo and not a gym rat. You have a real life and real struggles, but you still seem find a way to laugh and have fun! I really appreciate that with where I am right now. Thanks for the love, Kelly! I'm also cheering you on as you walk your get-fit journey!